Subject: Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-geopriv-res-gw-lis-discovery-05

From: Peter Yee <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 31 Jul 2013 13:50:06 -0700

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>

Document: draft-ietf-geopriv-res-gw-lis-discovery-05
Reviewer: Peter Yee
Review Date: Jul-31-2013
IETF LC End Date: Jul-31-2013
IESG Telechat date: TBD

Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits that
should be fixed before publication. [Ready with nits.]

The draft describes a means by which Devices behind a residential gateway
may discover the correct Location Information Server on the access network
providing Internet access to residential gateway.  The Device may thereby
gain access to certain location-based services.

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits:

Section 1, 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: should "data" be appended
after "location"?  The wording is otherwise odd.

Page 7, 3rd paragraph: change "which" to "that".

Page 9, section 4.2, 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: I'll admit my ignorance
of the finer points of the DNS and inquire what this sentence is supposed
to mean.  To what are the additional domain names added and how does this
allow a DNS record to cover a larger set of addresses?  Perhaps it's just
the wording or my lack of knowledge, but I didn't follow this point fully.

Page 9, section 4.2, 2nd bullet item: change "sucessively" to
"successively".

Page 11, section 4.6, 1st paragraph, 4th sentence: insert "a" before
"STUN server" or change "server" to "servers" depending on how many
need to be configured.

Page 12, 1st sentence: delete "a".

Page 12, 1st sentence: What about /56 for IPv6?

Page 14, 3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence: delete "a" before
"IP addresses" or change "addresses" to "address" depending on
how many false addresses you mean.

Page 14, 6th paragraph, last sentence: Are there any concrete
suggestions on who a device might determine accuracy?